Lindsey Lohan

I found myself on a tour bus looking into a bag of cosmetics.  I heard a call on a radio that we were approaching our destination and realized I needed to hurry and do my job.  I hastily started putting make-up on Lindsey to get her ready...

Then I realized I was Lindsey Lohan's make-up artist and started to ask her questions.... about if she was excited to get where we were going... if she liked the attention... if she was actually happy with her life... 

Then I woke up.  Also, I'm not sure if it means anything but Lindsey wasn't all done up or look like she does now.  She didn't have on make-up/plastic surgery/fake face and body.  Interesting... 

Too Much TV

I think I may be watching too much tv these days.

Last night I had a dream I saw the character Dave Rodowski from Gilmore Girls.  I flirted with him then left the crowded classroom we were in.


Then I walked into a cafeteria type place and flirted with Joel McHale, Danni Pudi, and Ken Jeong from Community.  It ended with me eating food after I flirted a lot with each of them then realizing they weren't interested in me cause they were all married.  

Where is Josh during dreams like this?!  I listened to Community as I was sewing yesterday... maybe I watch too much tv.  Ugh!

Hugs and Kisses

The last few weeks have been full of mundane dreams.  I'm at the store... I see a friend... I do something boring.  Then about 4 nights ago I started dreaming again...

I start out in a scene that is semi chaotic and moving quickly.  I'm saying goodbye to family and walking out the front door of my Dad's house.  In my dream it's like I had spent a lot of time with the family and was saying goodbye but for some reason, the dream started when I was leaving and I felt cheated.  Josh opens the door to the car for me and I get in.  Suddenly, I realize that I am leaving my family and I don't want to go.  I tell Josh to pull over and run out and start hugging everyone.  I tell him I can't go yet because I haven't hugged and kissed everyone.  


I get out of the car and run to the nearest person, Dana.  I give her a big hug and a kiss and don't want to go.  Then I hug my Dad and aunts.  I see my uncle Lee carrying a car seat with a little baby inside and he says it's his baby.  The baby is a little boy and he has lots of hair and looks a couple weeks old and is gorgeous.  I look down at my other cousins looking on and I see my brother- Cash Monkey!  I say hello and he asks me to pick him up and I scoop him up and hug and kiss him.  I tell him that I love him and miss him and we sit down on a rocking patio chair.  He sits on my lap twists around to put his arms around my neck and rests his head on my chest.  I sit there rocking back and forth as he pats my arm and falls asleep.  My aunt Dee walks up and says, "He's precious isn't he?" and I say, "Yes... I never want to move."  I sit there rocking him until I wake up...


I woke up with blankets wadded up on my chest that felt like the weight of Monkey leaning on me.  I felt so sad.  I adore my little brother... although we aren't even close in age... there is something about him that seems miraculous.  I am a part of a religion that believes that children are innocent and I believe that but it's more than that... I can feel that he is special.  He has the brightest smile and radiates love.  He is special.  I know it.  I miss that little Monkey. 

Hotels

I'm going to change the names of some of the people in my next dream because I'd like to protect that... I don't like censoring normally but this is one of those things I'd rather not talk about.  This happened last night...

I began in a hotel that was very posh.  All of the furniture and colors of the hotel were black and gray.  I wandered in this hotel without aim but I stumbled upon a hotel room that one of my old friends was in.  "Lauren" and I used to be good friends but I was not happy to see her.  I told her to go away and that she didn't belong in that room.  I hated seeing her there and felt threatened by her.  She looked at me like she didn't understand but I was strong and knew that she wasn't good.  She quietly left and we didn't talk.  (I find it strange that the relationship I have with this person is different than in my dream... but does have a very cold feeling to it.)  I continued to walk around the hotel until I found a balcony.  I scaled down it into the balcony just below and walked into the hotel room.  I found a woman, Jessica, in bed with a man that I knew wasn't her husband.  I left the room quickly and she followed.  I yelled at her and asked how she could do this to her husband and she said, "Yeah... well... I know... I messed up."  She was very casual about it and it drove me crazy.  I walked away from her and wandered the hotel thinking about how I couldn't believe what she had done.  She didn't give me a reason... she just admitted that she had done it. Which somehow, made me even more crazy!  I hated that she was so casual about admitting it!  I kept thinking that it couldn't be true... that any minute she would say she was just kidding... but she didn't.  She just kept admitting it.  

I have been thinking about what all of this means...  This person I call "Jessica" is someone that I think is near perfect.  She is much older than me and is basically the person I want to be when I get older.  Something that stands out about this dream is the feeling of disbelief.  I know "Jessica" would NEVER do this in real life.  The conclusion I am left with is that in some ways I expect the worst in situations. I expect people to go through a dramatic change.  I have seen some very close people in my life go "crazy" and start to live a completely different life.  I think by this person being "Jessica", a person that I love and admire and want to be when I grow up, I think a fear is shining through that I will in some way change and "go crazy"  I also find it strange that the first girl in the dream, "Lauren" is someone that went "crazy"  

Another dream I had this morning is one about wandering around the Las Vegas strip with random people.  

We were trying to find a hotel room to have a party in but we had to walk very far and I left all of my things in the car.  As we walked forever, with random people including Josh, my friend Larissa, and other people, I felt super confused about where we were going because I just wanted to party.  For some reason, I kept thinking that we were there for a bachelorette party... and that's all I remember.

(This is a picture of me at my bachelorette party in Las Vegas with my bestest girls including Larissa- bottom right)

I am not an advocate of "Dream Interpretation" but I do find it interesting and I feel 80% of the time it is applicable to my dreams.  One site that I like is www.dreammoods.com.  On their site, they say "To see a hotel in your dream, signifies a new state of mind or a shift in personal identity. You are undergoing some sort of transition and need to move away from your old habits and old way of thinking."  So maybe even my dreams are telling me to move on and worry about new things and trust myself.  Interesting... It sounds like good advice so I'll take it.  

84

Sometimes I wake up from dreams that are very scary and feelings linger with me.  This particular dream had me feeling so strange.  

I was in a 3 story building when the basement collapsed and the other stories fell.  The floors had different things on them and one was a retail store.  I watched the damage untouched from the inside of the building on one of the upper floors.  I fell with the building but I still stood perfectly without a stumble.  I watched as all around me there were bodies covered in rubble.  I noticed that there were Best Buy check out stands nearby that fell as well... I can remember the yellow tag logos vividly.  I tried to help as other people outside the building came in to help too but no one survived.  I talked to someone that came in and I felt catatonic.  I told them that 84 people died.  I didn't count the bodies, I didn't know what was going on in the building but I knew that there were 84 people that were in there and they all died.  I couldn't move and I just stood as other people ran around trying to pull people out.  

I woke up sweaty and feeling disbelief.  I woke up Josh and turned on the light but mostly just sat stunned for awhile not knowing what to do.  I felt very scared and had a hard time going back to sleep until Josh talked to me a bit and held me.  I have no idea what the 84 means.  I find it also very interesting that I stood by and watched everything untouched.  Crazy.  

What dreams are made of...

This dream is EXTREMELY special to me.  I like it.  

I don't know where I was.  There was no background noise, nothing to sit on, just me and a little girl about 3 or 4 years old.  I knew who she was but she didn't know me.  I crouched down at her level and talked to her.  She was very happy and had beautiful wavy dirty blonde hair and olivey skin.  For some reason, I think I remember her wearing a turtleneck with a dress over it.  She kept smiling at me.  I noticed that her facial features were a little small for a little girl... I thought that was strange.  But she was very nice and spoke clearly and kindly.  Even though I knew who she was and she didn't know me, I asked her questions... kind of like an interview.  I asked her name and she said, "Victoria."  I said, "That's a very nice name..." She said, "Yes!  I'm named after a queen.  Queen Victoria.  She was the queen of England and I was named that because that's where my parents met."  I said, "That is very nice..."  I asked her a bunch of other questions but I don't remember any of it.  The strange thing about this little girl was that, I knew I was her mother.  The strange thing was that we spoke to each other as equals... I may have been more grown than her but that didn't matter.  I was her mother and she didn't know it.  I knew she was talking about me and Josh that met in London... it wasn't strange to me at all either.  I just smiled in my dream and talked to her as if I didn't know who she was.  

I eventually woke up after a series of questions that I don't remember now.  Is this my daughter?  Were we in heaven talking?  Is this what I am meant to name her?  Victoria?  Why were her facial features small?  So many questions... I LOVE these sorts of dreams.  (The above picture is of Queen Victoria at 4 years old.) 

Joel McHale and Sarah Nitta?!

A few nights ago I had a dream about Joel McHale again.  

I was at a house where there were a bunch of little kids.  There was a little girl that I knew I was in charge of babysitting and she was very cute.  Joel kept following me around and we talked about running away together.  I told him I needed to think about it because I didn't feel good about it.  The little girl fell asleep during nap time with the other kids and I asked someone to watch her.  I got in a car and started driving.  As I drove a massive SUV of sorts, I thought about Josh.  Joel is older than Josh and I didn't feel like Joel and I were very compatible.  Then I thought about how Josh was perfect for me- he was my age, fun, had everything in common and I resolved to tell Joel when I got back that I wasn't for him.  In the midst of my thoughts, a car pulled up next to me and it was the mother of  the little girl was there asking me why I was not with her daughter.  The mother was Sarah Nitta from the Biggest Loser... strange... (she married into a family that I know in real life).  I calmly explained that she was asleep and was being watched at the party.  She was angry at first then understood. We drove our separate ways and that was that.