Our Silly Little Girl

I started out in a grocery store parking lot.  I picked up the baby from the cart and gave her to Josh to put in her car seat.  She was about 2-3 months old.  Josh and I got in the car and started driving when I heard a noise and turned around to see her out of her car seat and sitting in the middle on the regular seat!  She was also not so little and was now about 7 months old.  I panicked at the sight of her not in her seat but she was pumped and celebrating that she got loose.  I told Josh to stop as we were still driving through the parking lot and I picked her up and strapped her into her seat.  I said, "What are you doing?!!!"  As I went to put her seat belt on, she started to freak out cause she didn't want to go back in.  I calmed her down and said, "You silly little girl" and tickled her and she was happy again.  Then we went back to driving...

It seemed like such an every day kind of dream... but so special to me.  I've been very afraid to have kids because I'm worried that I won't be a good mother- I won't know what to do, I'll be too mean, they won't like me, etc.  In the dream, I really believed she was my little girl and it came so naturally and easy. It's strange how dreams can give you the confidence you didn't know you had.  When I woke up I started crying because she was mine... and waking up took her away.  Dreams can be cruel in that way.  She was so beautiful.  Her skin was like mine but a little bit lighter.  She had really short hair but on the top of her head, she had a long tuft that we put in an elastic so it looked like a palm tree.  Her head was a little too big for her body but it was cute.  She had Josh's face shape with big cheeks.  She had his eyes too.  She had my features though- my mouth and nose.  She was so funny and sweet... Will this be my daughter some day?  Is she Victoria...????

Odd Owls

I started to climb a really nice tree as Josh watched me from a car parked just next to the tree.  I had just placed myself in a perfect spot when a bird flew over and sat down right in front of me on the same branch.  I marveled that it was not just a run of the mill bird but an owl.  He looked like a cross between a screech owl or a great horned owl.  He turned his head to look straight at me and was not afraid of me.  For fear that he was going to peck my eyes out, I quickly jumped out of the tree and ran to the car.  I jumped in the drivers seat and shut the door when the owl appeared on the side mirror.  I quickly rolled up the cracks in the window and sped off in the car.  Josh and I marveled at how oddly the owl acted. 

Later, I found myself in a restroom at a restaurant when I saw the owl again.  The owl stood in front of a stall and stared at me.  I felt like he was trying to tell me something.  I leaned forward and said to him, "Ok, look.  I'm trusting you to not peck my eyes out here.... "  I held out my hand and the owl gently climbed on and leaned forward to whisper in my ear.  I don't know if he physically spoke or if he transmitted his message telepathically but I hung on every word he said.  He told me that I was to wear some specific clothing, keep my eyes open, and know that the events to come are meant to happen.  That I was to follow the path that the clothes would start for me.  He told me I was to do exactly as he said and trust it.  

This is almost exactly how the owl looked... but with bigger eyes.

It was not an ominous warning... it wasn't a suggestion either.  It was a firm, matter of fact owl that told me about a very specific journey I would surely take.

I put on the clothes and very subtle things happened.  A comment from a stranger, leading to a classroom full of school kids.  To my niece who insisted on watching a specific movie, to watching it snow on the beaches of California, to running away from strange people, to finding good friends who would lend a hand when I was afraid. 

I woke up this morning and got ready normally.

I looked up a few things about what this dream could mean:

To dream that animals can talk represent superior knowledge. Its message is often some form of wisdom. Alternatively, a talking animal denotes your potential to be all that you can be.

To see an owl in your dream symbolizes wisdom, insight, magic, expanded awareness and virtue. You are highly connected to your intuitive senses and psychic power. The owl is also synonymous with death, darkness and the unconscious. The appearance of an owl may be telling you to let go of the past or certain negative behaviors.

As I told the dream to my husband, I found that I am wearing a sweater that is the exact print and fabric of the pants I was wearing in the dream.  I guess I'll see where this sweater leads me today...

Lindsey Lohan

I found myself on a tour bus looking into a bag of cosmetics.  I heard a call on a radio that we were approaching our destination and realized I needed to hurry and do my job.  I hastily started putting make-up on Lindsey to get her ready...

Then I realized I was Lindsey Lohan's make-up artist and started to ask her questions.... about if she was excited to get where we were going... if she liked the attention... if she was actually happy with her life... 

Then I woke up.  Also, I'm not sure if it means anything but Lindsey wasn't all done up or look like she does now.  She didn't have on make-up/plastic surgery/fake face and body.  Interesting... 

Too Much TV

I think I may be watching too much tv these days.

Last night I had a dream I saw the character Dave Rodowski from Gilmore Girls.  I flirted with him then left the crowded classroom we were in.


Then I walked into a cafeteria type place and flirted with Joel McHale, Danni Pudi, and Ken Jeong from Community.  It ended with me eating food after I flirted a lot with each of them then realizing they weren't interested in me cause they were all married.  

Where is Josh during dreams like this?!  I listened to Community as I was sewing yesterday... maybe I watch too much tv.  Ugh!

Hugs and Kisses

The last few weeks have been full of mundane dreams.  I'm at the store... I see a friend... I do something boring.  Then about 4 nights ago I started dreaming again...

I start out in a scene that is semi chaotic and moving quickly.  I'm saying goodbye to family and walking out the front door of my Dad's house.  In my dream it's like I had spent a lot of time with the family and was saying goodbye but for some reason, the dream started when I was leaving and I felt cheated.  Josh opens the door to the car for me and I get in.  Suddenly, I realize that I am leaving my family and I don't want to go.  I tell Josh to pull over and run out and start hugging everyone.  I tell him I can't go yet because I haven't hugged and kissed everyone.  


I get out of the car and run to the nearest person, Dana.  I give her a big hug and a kiss and don't want to go.  Then I hug my Dad and aunts.  I see my uncle Lee carrying a car seat with a little baby inside and he says it's his baby.  The baby is a little boy and he has lots of hair and looks a couple weeks old and is gorgeous.  I look down at my other cousins looking on and I see my brother- Cash Monkey!  I say hello and he asks me to pick him up and I scoop him up and hug and kiss him.  I tell him that I love him and miss him and we sit down on a rocking patio chair.  He sits on my lap twists around to put his arms around my neck and rests his head on my chest.  I sit there rocking back and forth as he pats my arm and falls asleep.  My aunt Dee walks up and says, "He's precious isn't he?" and I say, "Yes... I never want to move."  I sit there rocking him until I wake up...


I woke up with blankets wadded up on my chest that felt like the weight of Monkey leaning on me.  I felt so sad.  I adore my little brother... although we aren't even close in age... there is something about him that seems miraculous.  I am a part of a religion that believes that children are innocent and I believe that but it's more than that... I can feel that he is special.  He has the brightest smile and radiates love.  He is special.  I know it.  I miss that little Monkey. 

Hotels

I'm going to change the names of some of the people in my next dream because I'd like to protect that... I don't like censoring normally but this is one of those things I'd rather not talk about.  This happened last night...

I began in a hotel that was very posh.  All of the furniture and colors of the hotel were black and gray.  I wandered in this hotel without aim but I stumbled upon a hotel room that one of my old friends was in.  "Lauren" and I used to be good friends but I was not happy to see her.  I told her to go away and that she didn't belong in that room.  I hated seeing her there and felt threatened by her.  She looked at me like she didn't understand but I was strong and knew that she wasn't good.  She quietly left and we didn't talk.  (I find it strange that the relationship I have with this person is different than in my dream... but does have a very cold feeling to it.)  I continued to walk around the hotel until I found a balcony.  I scaled down it into the balcony just below and walked into the hotel room.  I found a woman, Jessica, in bed with a man that I knew wasn't her husband.  I left the room quickly and she followed.  I yelled at her and asked how she could do this to her husband and she said, "Yeah... well... I know... I messed up."  She was very casual about it and it drove me crazy.  I walked away from her and wandered the hotel thinking about how I couldn't believe what she had done.  She didn't give me a reason... she just admitted that she had done it. Which somehow, made me even more crazy!  I hated that she was so casual about admitting it!  I kept thinking that it couldn't be true... that any minute she would say she was just kidding... but she didn't.  She just kept admitting it.  

I have been thinking about what all of this means...  This person I call "Jessica" is someone that I think is near perfect.  She is much older than me and is basically the person I want to be when I get older.  Something that stands out about this dream is the feeling of disbelief.  I know "Jessica" would NEVER do this in real life.  The conclusion I am left with is that in some ways I expect the worst in situations. I expect people to go through a dramatic change.  I have seen some very close people in my life go "crazy" and start to live a completely different life.  I think by this person being "Jessica", a person that I love and admire and want to be when I grow up, I think a fear is shining through that I will in some way change and "go crazy"  I also find it strange that the first girl in the dream, "Lauren" is someone that went "crazy"  

Another dream I had this morning is one about wandering around the Las Vegas strip with random people.  

We were trying to find a hotel room to have a party in but we had to walk very far and I left all of my things in the car.  As we walked forever, with random people including Josh, my friend Larissa, and other people, I felt super confused about where we were going because I just wanted to party.  For some reason, I kept thinking that we were there for a bachelorette party... and that's all I remember.

(This is a picture of me at my bachelorette party in Las Vegas with my bestest girls including Larissa- bottom right)

I am not an advocate of "Dream Interpretation" but I do find it interesting and I feel 80% of the time it is applicable to my dreams.  One site that I like is www.dreammoods.com.  On their site, they say "To see a hotel in your dream, signifies a new state of mind or a shift in personal identity. You are undergoing some sort of transition and need to move away from your old habits and old way of thinking."  So maybe even my dreams are telling me to move on and worry about new things and trust myself.  Interesting... It sounds like good advice so I'll take it.  

84

Sometimes I wake up from dreams that are very scary and feelings linger with me.  This particular dream had me feeling so strange.  

I was in a 3 story building when the basement collapsed and the other stories fell.  The floors had different things on them and one was a retail store.  I watched the damage untouched from the inside of the building on one of the upper floors.  I fell with the building but I still stood perfectly without a stumble.  I watched as all around me there were bodies covered in rubble.  I noticed that there were Best Buy check out stands nearby that fell as well... I can remember the yellow tag logos vividly.  I tried to help as other people outside the building came in to help too but no one survived.  I talked to someone that came in and I felt catatonic.  I told them that 84 people died.  I didn't count the bodies, I didn't know what was going on in the building but I knew that there were 84 people that were in there and they all died.  I couldn't move and I just stood as other people ran around trying to pull people out.  

I woke up sweaty and feeling disbelief.  I woke up Josh and turned on the light but mostly just sat stunned for awhile not knowing what to do.  I felt very scared and had a hard time going back to sleep until Josh talked to me a bit and held me.  I have no idea what the 84 means.  I find it also very interesting that I stood by and watched everything untouched.  Crazy.