Our Silly Little Girl

I started out in a grocery store parking lot.  I picked up the baby from the cart and gave her to Josh to put in her car seat.  She was about 2-3 months old.  Josh and I got in the car and started driving when I heard a noise and turned around to see her out of her car seat and sitting in the middle on the regular seat!  She was also not so little and was now about 7 months old.  I panicked at the sight of her not in her seat but she was pumped and celebrating that she got loose.  I told Josh to stop as we were still driving through the parking lot and I picked her up and strapped her into her seat.  I said, "What are you doing?!!!"  As I went to put her seat belt on, she started to freak out cause she didn't want to go back in.  I calmed her down and said, "You silly little girl" and tickled her and she was happy again.  Then we went back to driving...

It seemed like such an every day kind of dream... but so special to me.  I've been very afraid to have kids because I'm worried that I won't be a good mother- I won't know what to do, I'll be too mean, they won't like me, etc.  In the dream, I really believed she was my little girl and it came so naturally and easy. It's strange how dreams can give you the confidence you didn't know you had.  When I woke up I started crying because she was mine... and waking up took her away.  Dreams can be cruel in that way.  She was so beautiful.  Her skin was like mine but a little bit lighter.  She had really short hair but on the top of her head, she had a long tuft that we put in an elastic so it looked like a palm tree.  Her head was a little too big for her body but it was cute.  She had Josh's face shape with big cheeks.  She had his eyes too.  She had my features though- my mouth and nose.  She was so funny and sweet... Will this be my daughter some day?  Is she Victoria...????

What dreams are made of...

This dream is EXTREMELY special to me.  I like it.  

I don't know where I was.  There was no background noise, nothing to sit on, just me and a little girl about 3 or 4 years old.  I knew who she was but she didn't know me.  I crouched down at her level and talked to her.  She was very happy and had beautiful wavy dirty blonde hair and olivey skin.  For some reason, I think I remember her wearing a turtleneck with a dress over it.  She kept smiling at me.  I noticed that her facial features were a little small for a little girl... I thought that was strange.  But she was very nice and spoke clearly and kindly.  Even though I knew who she was and she didn't know me, I asked her questions... kind of like an interview.  I asked her name and she said, "Victoria."  I said, "That's a very nice name..." She said, "Yes!  I'm named after a queen.  Queen Victoria.  She was the queen of England and I was named that because that's where my parents met."  I said, "That is very nice..."  I asked her a bunch of other questions but I don't remember any of it.  The strange thing about this little girl was that, I knew I was her mother.  The strange thing was that we spoke to each other as equals... I may have been more grown than her but that didn't matter.  I was her mother and she didn't know it.  I knew she was talking about me and Josh that met in London... it wasn't strange to me at all either.  I just smiled in my dream and talked to her as if I didn't know who she was.  

I eventually woke up after a series of questions that I don't remember now.  Is this my daughter?  Were we in heaven talking?  Is this what I am meant to name her?  Victoria?  Why were her facial features small?  So many questions... I LOVE these sorts of dreams.  (The above picture is of Queen Victoria at 4 years old.)